Carson Daly has been with food blogger and cookbook author Siri Pinter for almost 20 years and married for nine years. They have four children together: a son, Jackson, 14, and three daughters, Etta, 11, London, nine, and Goldie, four. In the past, Carson has talked about their sleeping arrangements. First, they had a “sleep divorce,” in which they slept in separate bedrooms. Then, in 2022, Carson gave an update that he and Siri were back to sleeping in the same bed, but using different blankets. He called that a “sleep separation.” (Note: Mr. Rosie and I have had separate blankets from day one. I did not know that wasn’t considered normal!) Now, Carson is back with another update to his sleep saga: He and Siri sleep in different beds “several times a week.” Sounds like they’re doing a hybrid method?
The secret to Carson Daly’s marriage lies in his (often empty) bed. At the Today show’s Solar Eclipse watch event held at The American Museum of Natural History on Monday, April 8, the 50-year-old TV personality told PEOPLE that he and his wife Siri Pinter sleep in different beds several times a week — and they “both secretly love it.”
“The object is to stay together. That’s what we’d like to do. And so reverse engineering that, it’s like — by any means necessary, for the two of us, [we want to] still be in a relationship when we’re dying,” he says of how he and Pinter, who he met in 2005 and wed in 2015, approach their relationship.
They both have a “whatever it takes” mindset, he says, and part of that involves what he calls “sleep divorce.”
“It’s been good for us,” he admits. “We don’t do it all the time, but a couple of days during the week — especially if I want to watch an Islanders hockey game kind of later at night — I go into the guest room, she retires upstairs to read her book or watch a show.”
They part on a “Goodnight, I’ll see you tomorrow,” and Daly says “it just takes a lot of attention out and it works. So I highly recommend sleep divorce.”
Daly and Pinter, a food blogger and cookbook author, have been “sleep divorcing” since 2019. The idea sprouted while Pinter, 43, was pregnant with the couple’s fourth child, daughter Goldie Patricia.
“We’re both pretty good-sized humans and it just wasn’t really working when she was in her third trimester, and I also have sleep apnea, which is very sexy for the ladies out there, I’m sure,” Carson told PEOPLE in 2020. “She couldn’t get comfortable, so we were like a commercial you would see, kicking each other and just not sleeping.”
“We woke up and we just shook hands like, ‘I love you, but it’s time to sleep divorce. It’ll be the best thing for all of us,'” he added.
After their family grew from five to six, the couple continued sleeping separately occasionally as a new need arose. They’d relocated to California for Daly to film The Voice, making his wake up time for the Today show 3 a.m., so the former TRL host was “purposely not sleeping” with his wife and newborn.
“We’re still sleep divorced, but for discernibly different reasons,” he said, before admitting, “I don’t know if we’ll ever sleep together again.”
I love that Carson and Siri keep evolving their arrangement to suit what works best for them at any given time. However, I do hope that Carson helped with their newborn during the daytime so Siri could take a break and a nap. They aren’t the only celebrity couple who sleep in separate bedrooms, either. Cameron Diaz advocated for normalizing the practice last year when she explained why she and husband Benji Madden sleep in different rooms. David and Victoria Beckham and Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk have also said they’ve slept in separate rooms at points in time. Gwyneth and Brad didn’t even live in the same house when they first got married. I get it. Sleep is important! Get it however you need to. Sleeping in different beds doesn’t mean you don’t have a healthy marriage. Relationships can be as conventional or unconventional as you mutually agree upon. Diaz is right: normalize not following the traditional norms that define a happy relationship.
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